ONLY GOD

 

 

"For Everything There Is A Season...A Time To Be Born, And  A Time To Die." -Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

 

Our daughter, Stacy is doing real well now. She is in drug court, working and has custody of her boys again. Jim and I felt it was time for her to assume her responsiblies of home and her boys. We had prayed that God would lead us in the right decision.  We wanted to go back to our home in Friendship, TN. but God changed our minds.  Jim’s mom had been dealing with Alzheimer for some time now. It had gotten to a point that the sitters that were staying with her couldn’t handle her anymore. We prayed and make the decision to move in and take care of her to keep her from having to go to a nursing home.  My mom had Alzheimer and died with it in 2006.  I knew the road Jim was about to travel with his mom, because I had already been down it with my mom.  He was there for me and now I could be there for him.
       I am not saying all of this has been easy because it has not.  At times, the stress and fatigue  gets to me  and I  have to step back, shed a few tears and go on. Jim and I felt this was another chapter of our lives. There are so many families that are dealing with this dreaded disease called Alzheimer.
     Alzheimer's disease is a process in which brain tissue steadily degenerates, decreasing the brain's function over time, which causes memory loss and some mental disabilities. There is no cure for Alzheimer's disease, only treatments that may improve the quality of life, for some patients. Alzheimer's disease is physically and mentally draining for both an Alzheimer's patient as well as her family. It is also very hard to take on the role as the caregiver, because of the way Alzheimer's affects the patient's memory.
    It can be very frustrating when caring for somebody who has Alzheimer's Disease, because it causes temperament issues with the patient. In addition, sufferers sometimes possess memory loss so severe that they randomly forget who you are and get very frightened, feeling unfamiliar with their surroundings. Researching Alzheimer's disease and fully understanding the effects it will greatly benefit you as a family member or caregiver. You'll have an easier time realizing why the patient does certain things or acts certain ways. In turn, you will have a much easier time deciding the appropriate actions to better the situation.
    People with Alzheimer’s are people first. They need to feel valued, be treated with dignity, encouraged and loved. Many feelings come up when dealing with someone who has Alzheimer’s Disease (or if you suspect your own vulnerability), in the end, it is all about attitude. Care-giving forces you to examine yourself and your life. It invites you to revisit this particular relationship mindfully, openly and respectfully as you become aware that the past cannot be changed.
    Be open and be prepared. Breathe, realize most things are out of your control, expect to be surprised, believe you will handle whatever happens, relax your mind and calm yourself. When your loved one sees you calm and comfortable, they pick up on that mood as well. Smile and let them know you are happy to be with them.
     On December 20, 2011,  Ms. Ruby went to be with JESUS. Jim's mother spent the last 2 months in a hospital bed in the living room. Those 2 months were marked by stress and sorrow. When we moved in with her she was sitting in a chair, eating three small meals a day and she loved talking about her childhood. She couldn't remember the present, but she would talk about her twin brother, Rufee, who had passed on and her sister Mildred, whom she said had been very close to all her life. As each day passed, she ate less and less, her talking was more confusing and little by little she started growing weaker. She soon got to a point she couldn't sit up anymore by herself. The only way to give her water or Ensure was through a syringe and at times she couldn't even swallow anything. Truthfully she had lost so much weight she looked like a skeleton.  As I sit by her bed I often wondered what I did wrong. Could I have done anything to keep her from getting to this point? Once day a nurse, from Hospice sat me down and talked to me. She told me that I was doing all I could do for Jim's mother. She went on to say she was in her final stage of Alzheimer's and there was nothing anyone could do for her, except to keep her comfortable.
    Two days before she died, I came in to check on her. She started talking like Ms. Ruby had always done. I called for Jim to come into the living room. I told him there was someone I wanted him to meet. I told him THIS IS YOUR MAMA!  She knew who he was, who I was and talked about things surrounding her. Jim was sitting on one side and I was sitting on the other talking and enjoying that time together. This precious time together lasted about 10 minutes and then she slipped off into a deep sleep. Then all at once she opened her eyes, pointed to the ceiling and said "IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL" then paused for a second and said "JESUS." There was the biggest smile on her face, and then all of a sudden a bright glow surrounded her and we knew she had seen JESUS.  All at once she drifted into a deep sleep, and for the next 24 hours she endured a lot of suffering. Each breath she took seemed like the last one she would take. I decided that I would sit beside her bed so she wouldn't be alone. I knew in my heart, that we would soon be saying good bye to her. We were watching her walk toward death's door. There is no easy way to say a last good-bye. If someone you love is dying, the weeks or months ahead hold much pain, but they can also hold the makings of warm memories.
    Good-byes are tough, no question. Remembering the good times and the love we shared helped us through our good-byes to my Mom and Jim's Mom. A dying person will slip from your grip no matter how tightly you cling to them, but some things can be held tightly only with open hands- and a loving heart. Hold your hands wide open to receive a treasury of stored memories, which includes the love you and your loved one shared together. And know that your hands are held gently by Someone who never grips too tightly and yet will never let go.
   God will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5-6 "Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things that you have, for He has said, 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you,' so that we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me."
    Many, if not most, of us have probably been in physical need at some time. All of us are in spiritual need, and will remain that was as long as we live in this body of flesh with its carnal nature. But God does not abandon us. NEVER!!
     We can always trust in Him to be there for us, no matter how hard and how far we fall. The word "never" in this passage is from "ou we," in Greek what is known as an empathetic negative. In other words, "never" means just that. NEVER!!!!!