ONLY GOD

 

 

Jim and I met on a blind date and 4 days later we were married. Even though people said our marriage would never work, we knew that it was God, who brought us together. Our two main interests we shared, were our love for God and our desire to sing for Him. Our hearts were on God but we hadn’t fully surrendered our lives to Him to be used as “He” wanted. We were holding on to this thing call “flesh.” Jim and I wanted things to happen the way we wanted them in our time.  Self seemed to be first in our lives, instead of God. We had a few rough edges in our lives God needed to work on, before He could use us in His ministry. God was going to get out attention, one way or the other!
      We were living in Jim’s double wide mobile home in South Fulton, TN. The mobile home had all new furniture in it. We were living very comfortably, the bills were getting paid and we even had money in the bank. We were working on putting together a new gospel singing group. To think about it, life seem to be treating us pretty well. It seemed like things started changing over night. Jim lost his job and couldn’t find another one in the area. Because of no money coming, our utilities were close to being cut off. Sooner or later we were going to have to make some decisions on what to do. My late mother had left me her home in Friendship, TN. My daughter, Stacy agreed to move into the trailor and take over paying the bills, but moving  75 miles away from my daughter and 2 grandsons was breaking my heart. We left South Fulton, with our clothes and a few pieces of furniture headed to Friendship.
     Before all these things started happening, we would  go to Friendship on the weekends and go to church and practice our singing. Despite losing our home and job, we still had church and the singing group, so we thought! The singing group that we were trying to establish didn’t work out and it seemed to us that our singing had been put on the back burner. The church which we were attending had some things going on that Jim and I didn’t like. We left the church thinking it was God’s Will for us to do so.
     During this time we went through a lot of trials and struggles. We went without heat in the winter, without air conditioning  in the summer, no food, no gas for the van, but never did we takes our eyes off our God. I do admit there were times we had to ask God for strength to carry on. We were still flesh and flesh gives down from time to time. “The good man out of treasure of his heart brighteth forth that which is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth that which is evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” (Luke 6:45).
      After working on the book one Thursday night, I woke up Friday morning feeling good. Jim needed to go to Alamo, TN, so I decided to ride with him. It was a good time for me to go to the doctor and get refills on my medicine. As I walked into the doctor’s office, I could see sick people all around me, but I didn’t think much about it. My plans were to walk in, see the doctor, get my refills and leave. My plans got changed big time. My short visit turned into over 3 hours.
  We went to the drug store and got my medicine and headed home. Jim helped me get some clothes washed and then he made some tea for me. By 5 o'clock that afternoon, I had started aching and hurting all over, accompanied by dizziness, sick stomach and a high fever. I told Jim I didn’t want anything for supper and I was just gonna go to bed. The next morning I awoke and tried to get out of bed, but I was so sick I couldn’t hold my head up. I called for Jim but couldn’t find him. Little did I know he was in the other bedroom, lying flat on his back also. We both were too sick to take care of each other. He was a bedroom away, yet he couldn’t come to me and I couldn’t go to him.  At the time, we didn’t have a house phone and the cell phone wouldn’t pick up in the house so we couldn’t call anyone to come help us. We went for 3 1/2 days without food and very little to drink. Jim managed to get up long enough to get him some mountain dew and some tea for me.
     As I lay there, I realized I had no one but God to help Jim and me. On the 4th day I started feeling a little better but I was still sick I couldn’t sit up. There wasn’t anything I could do except lay there and think. Every kind of thought ran through my mind and I was experiencing desperate emotions and thoughts that I had never felt before. I even thought of taking a handful of pain pills and ending it all. I had gone until I couldn’t go any longer. All at once I cried out, “God, what is going on? I don’t understand what is happening to us.” At that moment of time, I lay there and cried, because I felt so powerless, helpless and so alone. It took me a few minutes to get my thoughts together and then I realized that I couldn’t make it anymore on my own. My strength was gone and I couldn’t go any farther. I asked God to forgive me and  help me go on in His strength. I surrendered everything to God at that moment.
        Some things are beyond us, bigger than us, greater that us, higher than our faith and deeper than our believing. God is going to say, in those instances, “I'm going to go beyond human ability and faith and display to everyone that I am God.” God can do greater things than our mind’s eye can conceive or our hearts can believe, because, "I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11