ONLY GOD

 

 

Jim & I have been through many trials and struggles over the last 4 years. Little did we know this was the calm before the storm!  We decided to go to South Fulton for Mother’s Day weekend. I thought, that my daughter, Stacy and I could enjoy the holiday weekend together. We left our home on Saturday morning and arrived at my daughter’s house around 9 o’clock. The first part of the day she didn’t say four words to either Jim or me and she completely ignored us the rest of the day.  On Mother’s Day, she got up mad about something. What I don’t know! She called two of her friends to come over and they had hamburgers & hot dogs with them, Not once did  she offer to say Happy Mother’s Day to me and that really hurt me. All at once she jumped up & started cussing and calling me names. She told me she wished I would get my things & go home, so that's what we did.  We gathered up our things and told the boys we loved them and we left. My heart was broken into because of how I had been treated on this very special day. It had been the worst Mother’s Day I had ever experienced. I felt in my spirit, that something wasn’t right because of the way she acted, especially in front of her friends. On the way home, I cried until I fell asleep. After all this took place, I told Jim something bad was going to happened very soon and it did.
    On May 11, 2011, we received a phone call that dramatically changed our lives for the next seven months.  I had broken my hand and had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon. We stopped off after the appointed and got a bite to eat. We pulled in the drive around 4 o’clock and as we walked into the house.  The phone started ringing. It was our oldest grandson, Cody and he was crying and screaming “Nana, please come as soon as you can cause they have arrested mama and Peanut.” I took a few minutes to collect my thoughts.  I couldn’t believe what Cody had just told me! I hollered at Jim to come as quickly as he could because  we had to go to South Fulton immediately. We grabbed a few things and started on our 75 miles trip to South Fulton. Words were few during the trip, because neither one of us could believe what we had just heard from Cody.
   As we drove up the long driveway to the trailer, all we could see were flashing blue lights.  We saw officers all over the place. Our hearts jumped up into our throats. We looked at each other and asked the question, “What‘s going on?" One cop pulled us to the side and told us, that my daughter and  her  husband  had been  arrested and taken to jail.  Their charges were manufacturing and sell of Methamphetamines. He said that Meth had not, been  found in the trailer. He said if they had been making it in the trailer, it along with the contents would have to be condemn & destroyed. Thank God, they didn’t find any signs of it being manufactured in the the trailer. He said he was glad we came, because he didn’t want to have to call Children Services to pick up the boys.
   They finally left around 10:30 that night, leaving the trailer in the biggest mess. It took us over 2 weeks to get things straightened out. They pulled  everything out of the closets, dresser drawers, especially in  Stacy & Peanut room. They broke  things, turned over chairs, pull things off the walls & many other things were done to the trailer. The very next day we had to go to Juvenile Court to petition for temporary custody of our two grandsons Cody & Cameron. We were still in shock because of what all had taken place over the last 24 hours.
   Finding out that none of the bills had been paid for the month, we had to come up with over $600.00 to cover all of them.  It took all the money we had saved up to pay them.  Jim had to give up his job at AKC Janitorial Services, because it was to far to drive back & forward to work.  
     We couldn’t handle all that had been laid at our feet. We were now having to live on my disability check of $685.00 a month. At Friendship, our bills were not that high, so along with Jim’s job and my check, we were living better than we had in over two years. Now there wasn't enough money coming in and it was  more going out and the bills started piling up. My check wasn’t enough to take care of the four people living in the house. Yes, I admit I started worrying about things. What were we doing to do? We couldn't get any kind of assistance, because Jim owned the trailor in South Fulton and the house in Friendship was in my name. It seem no one wanted to help us.
    While my daughter was in jail, I could see a small change in her, She had started going to church, reading her bible & was even baptized. Every time we would go to visit her, she was so nice to me. She would tell me that she loved me. “I LOVE YOU” are precious words to any mother. There were several times Stacy had to appear before the judge.  Every time she stood before the judge in chains & handcuffs, my heart would break into.  She had lost so much weight I couldn’t believe it when I saw her. As we sat in the courtroom, we listened to the judge call each case before him. Over 85% of the cases were drugs related and many of them were dealing with the manufacturing & sale of Meth. The ages of the defendants ranged from 16 to 50.  One case in particular, which stood out to us was dealing with seven members of the same family. They were all being charged with the same offense as our daughter, Stacy.
     This is something I don't want any family to go through. I thought I knew my child, but I was so blinded to the fact of what she was doing. This could happen to your  child, brother, sister even mom or dad. If you love them, please take  the blinders off.
    She was released from jail on August 8. The first week everything seemed  to be going alright with her. I really don’t know what happened to her. I know she was going through some off times, but she changed over night.  She changed back into the Stacy I didn’t like. She started getting mad over every little thing. She started having resentment toward Jim. Why I don’t know! All the things he had done for her. I didn’t understand why she was doing this to him. It didn’t matter what it was, she would fly off the handle & start cursing & calling him names. I know she was dealing with things, but she needed to understand we were having to deal with things too. I admit we had a few problems with her but there was nothing we could do but give it to God.
    Jim finally found a job working at Pizza Hut.  The pay wasn’t great but it was a little money coming in. We had got behind with our payments on the van. Late one night, they came & repoed, leaving us with no transportation.  Jim had to quit his job because he had no way to get to it. This meant no job-no transportation--no transportation-no job.
     Before the repo of our van, we had started going to a church in Fulton, KY. The people seemed friendly to us. With a Pentecostal background, the services were so different to us. It came to a point, we had to ask the church for help with our light bill. Jim filled out a application to get approved. Two men from the church came out to find out what was going on. One of the men started asking personal questions & making cruel statements to us. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! One of the things he said that it was mistake we had come to South Fulton to take care of our grandsons. He said he wouldn’t have done it for his. He said wouldn't do it for anyone. His cruel words made me start crying. He said I know I have upset you but I thought you needed to know.
   My daughter came into the room to talk to the men and my grandsons were in the another part of the house. He started talking about the houses, that he rented out and he looked at daughter and he said, you know "I wouldn't rent my houses to people like you." I thought to myself "people like you." You see I had a drug problem in the past  and Jim had a drinking problem in the past. Were we concerned people like that to? My heart broke. My grandsons listening to this. What were they think about church folks talking to God believing people in this manner. I was very upset, then my tears soon turned to anger.  What made me so mad was the fact that so-called Christians were treating us this way. There was no compassion from either one of the men. I asked myself “WHERE WAS THE LOVE OF GOD?
    We knew in our hearts, that what we did was right thing, coming here to take care of our grandson. I couldn’t understand why all this was happening to us. We  left our house in Friendship, our church & our friends to do what was right & anything wrong was happening to us. We couldn’t get any help, our van was repo, we were cussed out, called ungodly names, like white trash, couldn’t go to church and Jim couldn’t get a job because he had no way. I admit that my faith got a little weak and I asked many times “WHY?” “What had we done to deserve all of this. There was a angry & resentment  building up in me. I know that the trials in the past was caused by Jim & me, but this time we didn’t deserved what we were getting, because we had done what was.
     Anger,  bitterness, and resentment had taken hold of me big time.  I didn’t like the feeling I was experiencing at  this time so I started talking to God about them. I asked God to forgive me and to take those feelings out of my heart. I told God I never wanted to treat anyone, like we had been treated. We reached out for help to people calling themselves Christians, but received none. I asked God, “Where was the love of God in these people.” and God spoke to me.  He said “They know of Me but they don’t know Me.” A sadness came over me and I started praying for God to help them to see where they were wrong and to help them make it right. So-called Christians live with blinders on, not seeing the needs & hurt of people.  Jim and I have been guilty of the same thing in the past, but the experience of what we have gone through changed our views, concerning the needs of others. Our hearts should be filled with thanksgiving, praise & worship, but most of all love.
     When we give place to anger, bitterness and resentment it shuts off all God has for us in our lives. Just when God is moving in our lives in a powerful way, we give in to anger & completely shut Him off.  I knew I was guilty of this and I asked God to keep me from anger, bitterness & resentment so I could remain in the flow of what He had in store for me and Jim.