ONLY GOD

 

I had been diagnose with VEDS (Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) It is a inherited disorder that affects your connective tissues — primarily your skin, muscles, joints and the blood vessel walls.   I have had 12 surgeries including 2 total knee replacements because of EDS.
 I didn’t realize that my heart was being affected at the time.  I had gone to the doctor on Thursday, June 26th, because I was feeling run down and I couldn’t walk, because my legs were so swollen. My nurse practitioner told me that my heart and blood pressure were O.K. and gave me a B-12 shot. We had the 2 grandsons for a week so we decided the next day we were going to South Fulton to take them home and visit with my daughter for a few days. I guess it was around 6:00 o'clock when we arrived at my daughter’s house. A couple of my daughter’s friends were coming by, so Jim and I decided we’d stay inside, while they were there. They were on the deck talking and having fun. I was watching the TV. and Jim was on the computer checking his e-mail, when the door opened and in came my daughter’s husband. He told Jim to get off the computer right then.  Jim thought he was kidding with him and kept sitting at the computer looking at his e-mail. All at once, the door flew open and it was my son-in-law again. This time he was mad and demanded that Jim get off the p.c. right then. I couldn’t believe the way we were being treated by him and some of the most ungodly things were coming out of his mouth. This wasn’t the first time he had done this to me. The first time it happened I overlooked it and forgave him. This time the way he was acting was making me very upset and I was so tired of the way he was treating us. It seemed every time we came to visit them he would get upset.  I remember starting up the stairs when a pain hit me in my chest and by the time I got into the living room the pain was so great, I couldn’t get my breath. My daughter saw what was happening and called 911. They arrived and took my blood pressure, which was very high. They said they needed to take me to the hospital in Fulton, KY. as soon as possible. The doctor, who was on call said, that I needed to stay in the hospital to make sure everything was all right. I thought I would be feeling better the next day and could go home, but that didn’t happen. The third day the doctor came into my room and told me my heart rate had dropped to about 40 beats per min awake and 30 beats while sleeping and that they were transporting me as soon as possible, by ambulance, to Western Baptist Hospital in Paducah, KY. She said there was a room waiting for me upon my arrival at the Cardiac Unit.
    Upon arriving in Paducah, KY., the nurses immediately started monitoring my heart rate and blood pressure. During the next 2 days, neither my heart rate nor my blood pressure improved. The doctor came in on Monday, July 1st and said I needed a pacemaker implanted the next day to regulate my heart rate.  I know that God was with me all the way. God worked through the doctors to make my surgery a success.  I was able to leave the hospital the next day to go home.   Later I found out from the doctors, that if I had left my daughter’s house that day to go home, I would have died. When he told me that, it put a scare in me. I didn’t realize how close I came to death. I realized, that material things weren’t that important to me anymore. You can always replace materials things but if you loose your life, you have lost it all.
     God can take the bad and make something good come from it. I became aware of my heart problem, because of my son-in-law’s mistakes. God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. I knew, in my heart, that I had to forgive my son-in-law for his actions. Forgiveness is never easy. When we forgive someone, it doesn’t make him or her right or justified, what he or she has done. It releases them into God’s hands, so He can deal with them. Forgiveness is actually the best revenge, because it not only sets us free from the person we forgive, but it frees us to move into all God has for us. God says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31). Often we don’t recognize the unforgiveness that we are harboring in us. We think we are forgiving, but we really aren’t. If we don’t ask God to reveal our unforgiveness to us, we may never get free of the paralyzing grip it has on our lives. A big part, of making sure our lives are clean and right before God, has to do with forgiving other people. We can never move into all God has for us, unless we do. When we choose to forgive, not only do we benefit, but also do the people around us.
   No sin, no action, no choice on your part is too big for God to handle, or too big to be worked for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:29)
   You can embrace the present. There’s no need to play with “what if” game. The past is gone, and no energy you expend will ever change it. The future is in God’s hands, so you’re free to focus on the present. Your job is to love God with all your heart, soul and mind, trusting Him to forgive the past and transform the future. Martyred missionary Jim Eliot once wrote, “Wherever you are, be all there”- not living in the past and not fantasizing about the future. God wants you in the present, because that’s where His grace will flow. You can look towards the future, because even if you make mistakes today, God still controls the future. Walking in the Spirit, you can live life to its fullest, unafraid of making mistakes and unconcerned that you may stumble into some terrible circumstance that takes you out of God’s control. Even when things appear to be terrible, you can trust, that God is working out some divine plan through you.   Look for God’s hand. Walking by faith means you see God’s hand even in the most difficult times. You trust His ability and His willingness to transform the bad into the good. God is not limited by people’s motives.  In other words, it doesn’t matter why someone hurts you, God still can transform a  mean-spirited situation into something for his or her good. What will you allow God to change? There it is  some situation, or event, or person in your life that, as far as you can tell was “meant for bad.” How do you think God meant it for good? Ask God what He wants you to do with this situation, event or person. When He answers, do it.